Hilarious

Courtesy of Bill in Portland Maine, the 2006 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. A sample winner, from the Romance category:

Despite the vast differences it their ages, ethnicity, and religious upbringing, the sexual chemistry between Roberto and Heather was the most amazing he had ever experienced; and for the entirety of the Labor Day weekend they had sex like monkeys on espresso, not those monkeys in the zoo that fling their feces at you, but more like the monkeys in the wild that have those giant red butts, and access to an espresso machine.
Dennis Barry
Dothan, AL

Read them all, plus the Runners-up and Dishonorable Mentions, here.